


past our satellites

by chopins



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, other than louis, the other lads don't show up much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-17
Updated: 2015-03-17
Packaged: 2018-03-18 08:17:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3562670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chopins/pseuds/chopins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>niall's never noticed that liam's a bit in love with him. that's alright though, it takes liam a while to notice too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	past our satellites

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Narryornarry](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Narryornarry/gifts).



> this fic is for narryornarry, who essentially wanted a timeline of events story with liam being hopelessly in love with niall and niall being hopelessly oblivious! i decided to sort of make it a 5+1 fic, the 5 times niall didn’t realize how gone for him liam was, and the 1 time he did realize, but the formatting is a bit different with some pov switching! i hope you enjoy it, i had a lot of fun writing it xo
> 
>  
> 
> as always, thank you to [sara](http://archiveofourown.org/users/breathingashes) for an irishpick and catching my terrible typos!

**march 2012.**

Exhausted didn’t really, properly begin to cover it. In making the decision to stay up late into the night putting on a twitcam and doing a few follow sprees, Liam hadn’t really realized how exhausted he was until he fell asleep late into the night. 

Now, of course, he was paying for it with a headache and a constant yawn. 

Rubbing the back of his hand over his face, Liam falls back on Harry’s bed, eyes falling shut immediately as he feels the bed shift next to him. They’re all in Harry’s room for a pre-departure meeting with Paul to go over the rest of their day of interviews and wrapping it up with a photo shoot later that night. He expects Louis, because Louis is a little shit and would bother him when he knows he’s tired, but as he opens up one eye to look at the offender on the bed next to him, he sees Niall there instead. 

“Long night, Payno?” Niall asks, reaching out to ruffle his hair and it feels nice, really nice. Liam turns his head into the touch, causing Niall to laugh. 

“You could say that, think I’m just a bit tired, though, this cold’s got me down.” Liam says, yawning and letting both of his eyes fall shut again as Niall continues to mess around with his hair. 

“Well, I slept amazing. You know, because you don’t have my number, and you didn’t call me last night. I can’t believe you’re not going to name your dog after me, what the fuck!” Niall states, and Liam’s eyes fly open. Niall’s just sitting there with a totally straight face as he gapes at him. 

“You watched my twitcam? Why didn’t you come over, we could have had a laugh!” Liam exclaims, his mind racing to try to figure out all of the potentially ridiculous and embarrassing things he did on the twitcam last night that Niall might have seen. He just shakes his head though, the telltale Horan grin on his lips. 

“No, mate, didn’t, I was sleeping. But I had about a million notifications on twitter when I woke up.” Nialls responds with a smile, and in response, Liam groans. He hadn’t meant for that to be the outcome, but apparently, he just couldn’t stop talking about Niall the night before. 

“Sorry.” Liam says sheepishly, turning to bury his head in the mattress next to Niall’s leg. He hears Niall’s laugh, softer this time as he buries his hand in his hair again. 

“Not any sort of a problem, promise Payno.” Niall tells him and he lets out a sigh, not completely convinced, but soon, Louis is making his way into the room, announcing his presence with a demand for tea and Liam just stays still, not really sure he wants to deal with whatever Louis has to say about his twitcam adventures. 

The meeting proceeds with nothing really of interest, and Liam finds himself not really moving at all, Niall occasionally playing with his hair, tugging on the strands that Danielle says are getting too long. He doesn’t much want to cut them though, quite likes how it feels when Niall and Zayn play with it. 

As the meeting comes to a close, Niall gets up from the bed and heads over to talk to Zayn about something, and Liam feels a weird sinking in his chest, but he brushes it aside because thinking about what it could mean would be silly. He needs to call Danielle. Just as he’s thinking about that, Louis appears in front of him and he startles slightly. 

“Jesus christ, Louis, would you warn me before you appear out of thin air all random like?” Liam exclaims, frowning at him and Louis just shakes his head, reaching to twist his nipple before grabbing him by the wrist, a firm grip. 

“That’s completely boring, Liam, and you’re coming to my room.” Louis declares, yanking him up from the bed and Liam really has no choice but to go willingly as he’s pulled out into the hallway. 

“Why am I being forced to go to your room, Lou? I need to go to my room and call Dani!” Liam whines as he is dragged two doors down to Louis’ room, and pushed inside once Louis has the door open. 

Louis is rolling his eyes as they head into the room, and Liam finds himself pushed onto the bed with Louis staring down at him, arms crossed. 

“Uh.” Liam frowns as he stares up at him, crossing his arms over his chest, too, and hoping to come off just as petulant. Somehow, he’s not sure it’s working. Louis is much better at looking petulant than he is. He generally just comes off as confused. 

“Why did you spend your entire twitcam talking about Niall?” Louis asks, face stony and Liam can feel his own face pale as he stares up at him. He hadn’t, had he? He hadn’t really talked about Niall that much, and if he did, well that just silly. it wasn’t on purpose, not in the least bit. 

“I didn’t!” Liam exclaims, his voice tight and Louis rolls his eyes again, stepping forward and poking him in the nipple. Liam’s quick though and reaches up to swat his hand away. 

“You did, you’re supposed to talk about me if you’re going to rattle on about anyone, didn’t you know that Liam?” Louis counters, before he moves to sit down on the bed next to him. Liam stays quiet and Louis takes his hand, softening considerably. “You can like Niall a bit better than me, I’ll allow it, but only a bit.” 

Liam knows he’s trying to be kind, trying to like, let him down easily to the fact that he likes boys or something like that. But Liam doesn’t really want to talk about it, not then, or ever. The things he had whispered months before, in last year even, they were just that - little things whispered in the middle of the night to the boy he had just learned how to trust. Liam didn’t think there was anything to them. 

He pulls his hand out of Louis’ grip and stands up, offering him a tense sort of smile. 

“Means a lot, thanks Louis, but I’ve got to go call Danielle now.” Liam impresses, walking backwards towards the door. He catches Louis’ eye then, sees the sad look there and he shrugs. 

“Alright, Liam, but make sure you’ve got Niall’s number in your phone, you liar!” Louis, of course, doesn’t let him go without one last jab, and Liam groans as he twists the door handle, heading out into the hallway and the peace and quiet of his own head. 

+++

**june 2012.**

They’re in Florida and it is hot, and humid, and Liam isn’t sure he’s ever felt so sticky in his life. They’ve got a show that night, and it’s nearing the end of tour. As much as he loves being on the road, and playing shows every night, he’s looking forward to going back to his house and not leaving it for a few days. 

At least it’s not as sticky in England. 

It’s only about four in the afternoon and he’s already been to the hotel pool twice to try to cool off, and then had proceeded to lay about in his hotel room like a sloth, just trying to cool down. Zayn had been over earlier, but he fucked off somewhere else with Harry, and now he’s sitting backstage, feeling sticky at the venue. 

“You good, Leemo? You look like you’re on your deathbed.” Niall’s voice jerks him out of his thoughts of being hot and gross and he looks up to see the boy peering over him where he’s laying on the couch, with a curious look on his face. 

“I’m not quite sure, think that it’s too hot for anything to be considered good.” Liam groans, flopping one of his arms over his forehead and Niall just laughs, pushing at him to get him to scoot over and then he sits down next to his torso on the couch. “Niall, it’s too hot for us to be sitting this close.” Liam asserts, and Niall just rolls his eyes. 

Liam finally looks up at him, properly, and sees the flush on his cheeks, the flush dipping beneath the collar of his worn t-shirt and he has to bite down on his lip before any of the sudden thoughts of _warm, touch, soft_ come out of his mouth. 

Whatever Liam’s been feeling for Niall is just a friendship thing, at least, that’s what he keeps telling himself. He would have put on a hat, like he did a few weeks ago, for any of the other lads, it just so happened that the one for Niam got tossed at him that night. 

“You’re being dramatic, the venue has the air con cranked.” Niall tells him and Liam simply groans, because it definitely doesn’t feel like it. 

“You’re being dramatic, and you’re wrong. Get off of me!” Liam laughs, reaching up and shoving at Niall’s side and he goes toppling with a yell as he rolls off of the couch. 

“Fuck off.” Niall declares, but there’s no heat behind his voice as he scrambles up to collapse in a chair opposite of Liam. He finds himself staring for a moment, before he picks up his phone to distract himself. 

They fall into an easy silence as Liam unlocks his phone and opens twitter, scrolling through some of his mentions when one catches his eye. 

_@justdreambigger: @Real_Liam_Payne Niam is real. right? ;D i_

Liam glances up to look at Niall for a moment, biting down on his lip as he stared at him. Without a second thought then, he replies. 

_@Real_Liam_Payne: @justdreambigger right_

As he closes twitter to open up his email, he catches Niall out of the corner of his eye, watching some sport recap on his phone and he realizes that, quite frankly, he’s fucked. 

+++

**april 2013.**

They’re about to leave for Paris when it happens. 

Liam’s bag is packed, by the door, two days early like it always is, and he comes out of the bedroom one day to see another bag, bigger, by the opposite side of the door. He’s too quick to ask her, excited, if she’s coming with, but he’s met with a speech of ‘we’re just not working anymore’ and ‘I need someone who will actually be here most of the year’. 

It’s why they broke up at the end of last year, and Liam knows he shouldn’t be surprised. But the way she closes the door behind her seems so final. He knows it’s done, yet he has no choice but to just get on the plane to Paris a few days later. 

Liam, for the most part, keeps to himself when they’re performing up in Paris, letting Louis poke at him, and watching out of the corner of his eye as Zayn shoots him concerned looks from across the stage. Ramping himself up for the fans it isn't easy, but somehow, he manages to do it. 

They’re coming off the stage when Harry grabs him by the wrist, and Liam startles a bit, turning to look at him through wide, huge eyes. He had told the lads immediately about Danielle dumping him, of course, but he had also asked them not to make a huge deal about it. Something told him Harry was definitely about to make a huge fuss. 

“Harry.” Liam says with what he hopes is a bit of a warning tone, but he’s not actually very sure. Harry just gives him a _look_ and that’s it then, he’s not very good at his warnings. 

“I know, don’t make a big issue of it, but everyone is entitled to a night getting drunk when you’ve just been through a nasty breakup, right?” Harry points out, blinking at him with those huge eyes and well, Liam can’t say no. 

* 

That, precisely, is how Liam finds himself at some club Harry recommended to them all in Paris. It’s dark and smells like rich people (which, he is one, but Liam finds that a certain type of fancy rich people smell a certain way, Louis constantly tells him he’s crazy), and the music is mostly not in English. 

He’s two beers in, and not drunk enough to be able to really enjoy himself, when Niall comes over and slings his arm around his shoulders. 

“Y’been standing here by the bar for a fuckin’ eternity.” Niall states, a soft laugh into his ear and Liam feels his cheeks heat up at how close they are. He’s been thinking a lot, probably too much about the small hints Louis had been dropping, especially when he and Dani had been broken up earlier in the year. 

“I guess I’m just not really in the mood to dance.” Liam tells him, shaking his head and Niall’s arm drops from his shoulder, down to his waist, and he holds onto him, tight. He’s never been more thankful for Niall’s seemingly never-ending protective streak over all of them. 

“Let’s leave then, fancy a one in the morning tour of Paris?” Niall offers, a grin spreading over his lips, and he does, actually, so Liam matches his grin, setting his empty glass on the bar before Niall guides him out of the club, his hand still grasping at his waist. Liam mostly just tries to quell the flipping in his stomach at the touch. 

Once they’re outside, the air is crisp and he zips his leather jacket up before turning to watch Niall struggling a bit with his zipper. 

“Are you that drunk, Ni?” Liam laughs, moving to where he’s standing and reaching out to swat his hands away, yanking up the zipper for him. Niall grins at him, bright as ever and Liam feels his chest tighten. 

“Nope, just stuck! C’mon, the Arc de Triomphe is this way.” Niall states with an impressive French accent, before they’re heading off down the street. 

Paris at one am, Liam discovers as the walk in silence, is hazy, yet romantic. It makes his heart ache for his relationship which is now in the past, yet somehow, as he walks just in step with Niall, he feels like maybe, there’s a future somewhere in front of him that he’s not quite gotten to yet. 

They come to a stop in front of the Arc, having crossed the nearly empty roundabout. It’s still lit up, and Liam feels like magic. 

He stares up at the Arc for a few minutes, still standing in silence before he turns his gaze to Niall and he wishes he had done it sooner. He looks _stunning_ , staring up at the lights with a look of awe on his face. Liam’s sure it’s replicated on his face, but not because of the lights. Because of Niall, and - 

_Oh._

  
+++

**december 2013.**

Liam isn’t ever sure he’s been so drunk in his life, and he completely blames Louis. 

Which, really, is standard for Louis Tomlinson’s birthday party, held on New Years Eve, which he told the lads he had titled ‘Happy Louis Eve’ which Liam doesn’t think makes a lot of sense but he goes along with it, they all do. They always do, Liam thinks, as he lets Louis wrap a strand of tinsel around his neck. 

“Louis. Lou.” He slurs, reaching out to grasp onto his wrist, but Louis is too fast and slithers out of the way, grinning cattishly at him before tossing the end of the tinsel in his face. 

“Yes, Liam?” Louis responds primly, as if he hadn’t been trying to strangle Liam with a garland moments before. Liam has to wonder if he knows it’s not Christmas anymore. “Yes, but it’s Happy Louis Eve.” Liam must have said that last bit out loud. Grimacing a bit, he shakes his head before speaking up again. 

“Have you seen Niall?” Liam asks, reaching up to brush some of the tinsel strands out of his hair, frowning as Louis seems unable to wipe the grin off of his face. 

“Last I saw he was chatting up some bird, or maybe Zayn, didn’t look too closely.” Louis tells him, and Liam’s honestly shocked that he got a straight answer. He’s about to open his mouth to speak again before someone Liam doesn’t know is barrelling into Louis and Liam takes that as his cue to leave. 

Moving through the small crowd of people in Louis’ massive sitting room, Liam waves to Eleanor, where she’s sat with the Teasdales, and then stops in the middle of the room. His vision swims just a bit, and he reaches up, pressing a hand against his forehead, before he’s able to focus completely on finding Niall. Liam spots him in the corner of the room, scrolling through Louis’ iPod, and Liam knows that’ll cause Louis to throw an absolute fit if he changes it. 

His feet move him faster than he even realizes, and suddenly, he’s standing just in front of Niall, who still doesn’t look up from the iPod. 

“Niall.” Liam slurs, reaching out to grab onto his wrist. Niall jerks under his touch, before relaxing, realizing who it is holding onto him. 

“Liam! Perfect, glad you’re here. Help me out with picking a song to blast at midnight to annoying the living fuck out of Louis.” Niall flashes him a grin and Liam can see the strain at the corners, can see how he’s using the iPod as a distraction from how many people were shoved into Louis’ house. 

“It’s not for a bit, let’s go outside for just a moment, yeah?” Liam suggests instead, his fingers curling a bit more tightly around Niall’s wrist. Niall looks apprehensive, and for a minute, Liam thinks he might say no. Instead, he puts the iPod down with a nod, and then Liam is stumbling through the crowd, his grip still on Niall as he heads for the door to the back garden. 

Once they’re outside, Niall moves past him and collapses heavily on one of the wicker chairs, running his hand through his hair and he just looks exhausted. Liam wants to wrap him up in a blanket, but he figures that’s just the alcohol talking. 

“Alright, Niall?” Liam asks finally, moving to drag another chair over, closer to where Niall is sitting. When he doesn’t respond, Liam considers reaching out, trying to get him to talk or something, anything, but he knows better than that. He’s known for years that Niall just needs his space after crowds, so Liam gives it to him. 

It’s not like he’s got long to wait, anyway, before Niall visibly relaxes in front of him and Liam grins as he meets his eye. 

“Perfect, mate, absolutely. You having a good time?” It’s small talk, but seeing as he hasn’t gotten a chance to see Niall all night, Liam realizes as he’s listening to his drawl, heavier with his intoxication, he would take even small talk with Niall. 

“Yeah, had a laugh with Harry earlier about some random story he was telling me, but he didn’t realize I was mostly laughing at him, instead of with him.” Liam replies with a grin, watching as Niall’s face lights up and he laughs, too. Liam can’t help but feel a rush of … something, maybe joy, at seeing Niall laugh, but that would be ridiculous, he’s not a seventy year old gran. 

And yes, maybe he’s still a bit more drunk than he should be. 

The thought hits him with a groan and he reaches up to pinch at his nose for a moment, before he’s squinting at Niall, who is essentially just staring at him with his mouth open just slightly. Liam’s about to reach out and do something stupid, like press his thumb to the swell of his bottom lip when Louis comes bursting through the door, Eleanor on his back like a monkey. 

“It’s almost midnight, wankers, get inside for the countdown!” Eleanor yells at them, pelting them with strands of tinsel she’s pulled off from the strand wrapped around Louis’ head like a bandana. Liam thinks she looks a bit majestic. 

“You heard the lady, come on you two, stop being cozy and get up off your lazy arses.” Louis demands, before Eleanor kicks his thigh and he turns around, heading back inside with her directing the way. The quiet they leave as they head inside lasts only a few moments before both Liam and Niall and breaking into laughter. 

“Suppose we don’t have much of a choice.” Liam says, standing and holding out his hand for Niall. He looks at him apprehensively for a moment, before taking his hand and hauling himself up. Liam’s about to keep holding on when Niall instead slings his arm around his shoulder, leading him inside. 

“Almost 2014 and I can’t believe I’ve got no one to kiss.” Niall says, rolling his eyes, and Liam knows he’s joking, but it still sends something akin to a shiver down his body. 

“Right. Same here.” He nods, and they come to a stop at the edge of the crowd, just as the chanting starts. 

_Ten.. nine.. eight.._

“I think you should have carried me in here like Louis was carrying El.” Niall remarks, turning to look at Liam. His eyes widen into saucers and he’s sure he looks fucking ridiculous as the image pops into his head, Niall’s arm still around his shoulder 

_Seven… six… five…_

“I will next time, don’t doubt me, Horan.” Liam jokes back, grinning at him like a lunatic. He thinks they’re flirting, he hopes they’re flirting. The countdown is winding down and Liam feels a rush in his body, adrenaline maybe, mixed with a bit of dangerous hope.

_Four.. three.._

“Never have.” Niall’s staring at him, his face lacking anything to define ‘joking’, and Liam feels like all of his blood has rushed up to his head. 

_Two.. one._

“Happy fucking New Year!” Louis screams, and in his peripheral vision, Liam can see him kissing Eleanor like he was made to do it. 

He’s still staring at Niall though, and Niall is staring back, and he feels like something’s about to happen. It has to, he tells himself, it does. 

Liam leans in, his hand reaching up to grasp at Niall’s waist. He’s just about to lean even closer when Niall drags him in by the arm around his shoulders, his knuckles rubbing against his hair. 

“Happy New Year, Payno,” Niall says, laughing as he holds him even tighter, and Liam feels like his heart just dropped out of his chest. Snapping out of in a moment though, he hugs him back, before pushing him away, hoping it comes off as playful. 

“You need to get better at that, you’re too short.” Liam teases him, and he hopes his face isn’t portraying just how let down he feels, but he figures that he shouldn’t be so sad - it wasn’t like Niall has ever been interested in him. “I’m going to go call a cab home, feeling a bit too drunk, don’t call me tomorrow.” He jokes, but it comes out sort of half-hearted, as he heads away from Niall and towards the front door. 

\----

**august 2014.**

Pulling his snapback down a bit further on his head, Niall slumps down in the chair he’s sprawled on by the pool in New Jersey. They’ve got a few hours until the show and Niall’s decided to spend the last bit of it by himself. 

Liam’s been acting a bit odd all day and Niall’s got absolutely no idea why, giggling at his phone and forcing him into selfies. Niall doesn’t mind, _obviously_ , he loves taking selfies but Liam generally isn’t one for them, unless they’re while he’s laying in bed in the middle of the night. 

Niall hadn’t really understood why he posted that one to instagram, but Liam did what Liam wanted and he didn’t question it at the time. 

He’s just about to doze off in the warmth when an ice cold bottle of water is dropped on his stomach and he jerks, sitting up immediately to see Louis grinning down at him. Or was it a snarl? He’s not really sure. 

“What the fucking hell, Louis?” Niall exclaims, glaring at him as Louis pushes his legs aside and sits down on the end of his pool lounger. He hadn’t really been expecting anyone to join him, and for some reason, as much as he would usually welcome Louis, Niall sort of wants him to leave. He’s just about to tell him to do just that when Louis leans in close. 

“Have you checked twitter in the past few hours?” Louis asks and Niall narrows his eyes at him, wondering if he’s going to get on his case about his tweeting habits - he had a few months back when he was live-tweeting some sport. 

“Haven’t, actually.” Niall huffs, crossing his arms over his chest and pressing his toe against Louis’ leg. He doesn’t move, and it’s so frustrating, Niall sort of wants to scream. Instead, he reaches down to the small backpack he had brought with him to the pool and pulled out his phone, unlocking it and getting to twitter easily. “I don’t really know what you’re on about, and stop staring at me like-” 

Niall stops himself when he sees tweet after tweet from Liam, including the selfie he had bombarded him with at breakfast. Not bothering to glance up to see what is written all over Louis’ face as he scrolls through the tweets, Niall just feels confused. It’s funny, it’s all a laugh and he’s not sure why Louis is acting like it’s a huge deal. 

And still, there’s something in his chest, a tightening maybe, that he doesn’t know how to put into words, and he’s not about to talk to Louis about it. 

“He’s a clever one, our Payno, isn’t he?” Niall says finally, clicking his phone off and dropping it in his bag. Niall takes his time, not eager to see what Louis has to say as he glances up. Louis is still just staring at him, but his eyes are narrowed now and Niall lets out a sigh. 

“Niall.” Louis says, but at the same time Niall starts speaking. 

“I don’t know what you’re getting at here, and I don’t know why you’re looking at me like that, but I’m trying to relax before the gig so if you could leave me by myself for like another hour, that’d be fantastic.” 

With that, he leans his head back against the chair, sunglasses perfectly situated on his nose. Louis doesn’t say anything else (surprisingly), but he waits a few beats, and Niall knows he’s waiting to be sure if he means it or not. Which, obviously, he does, so he’s beyond thankful when he stands up and leaves, finally, and he’s left to his thoughts and the soft lapping of the water in the pool. 

* 

The show that night goes well, of course, they’re a well-oiled machine by this point. Niall doesn't even think twice about the fact that Liam hung all over him the whole show, going on about ‘Mrs. Horan’ and that. 

He thinks it’s funny, and Niall can’t help but agree. 

As they’re heading back into the hotel from the Range Rovers, Niall feels Louis’ gaze on him prickling into the back of his neck. It drives him absolutely fucking mental and as they head for the elevator, he turns to give Louis a sharp look, glaring at him. Louis, ever the brat that he is, simply raises an eyebrow in response. 

The entire elevator ride up to their floor, they’re all chatting amongst themselves, and Niall finds himself adding in random anecdotes whenever Liam turns to him with a ‘right, Niall?’, but he’s not really paying that much attention to the conversation, Louis’ gaze still under his skin. It’s driving him crazy and as they get out of the elevator, he’s about to turn left down the hallway to his room, following Liam and Harry, when Zayn grabs his arm. 

“My room, yeah?” Zayn murmurs into his ear and Niall is quick to agree. He generally always wants to spend time with Zayn, so really, he doesn’t have any reason to say no. 

Turning right out of the elevator instead of the direction he would normally go, Niall heads down the hallway in silence with Zayn, wondering why he wants to hang out. Zayn usually locks himself in his room after shows, calling Perrie and doing.. well, Zayn and Perrie stuff. 

Once Zayn gets the door open, Niall barrels inside, flopping down on the bed with an audible groan. He hasn’t realized until that point how sore he’s been that whole day, holding the tension in his shoulders from his strange conversation with Louis earlier that day. Niall hears Zayn close the door and he rolls over slightly to stare at him. 

“Hey, mate, have you got any idea why Louis’ is acting so fucking weird?” Niall asks, and Zayn’s expression turns to one of almost, like sadness. Niall thinks it’s fucking weird. 

“I think you should talk to Liam about that.” Zayn tells him, and Niall pushes himself up with an audible groan. 

“You’re telling me I should talk to Liam, about why Louis is being sort of a prick?” Niall questions with an eye roll, and Zayn nods, sitting at the edge of the bed. It looks like Zayn’s about to speak again, but Niall beats him to it. “You’re all full of shit, acting all fucking mysterious and that, and I’m sick of it.” He grumbles, and maybe he’s just had a rough day, and maybe he’s just taking it out on Zayn, but that’s sort of hearsay. He’ll probably feel bad the next day, but in that moment, he doesn’t, and he lifts off the bed. 

“Niall, c’mon,” Zayn starts and Niall cuts him off with a quick shake of the head. 

“No, I’ll just see you later, tomorrow, see you.” He says briskly, heading out of the room with a soft click of the door. 

+++

**october 2014.**

Absolutely everyone around him is drunk. Niall knows that he should just have a few more drinks, get on their levels but he’s not really in the mood. 

They just wrapped their last show of the Where We Are Tour and while he’s so, so happy that they reached that point, an _arena_ tour for jesus’ sake, he just isn’t in the mood to get absolutely wasted. Niall really has no idea why that is, considering the fact that he’s usually the first one to jump at the idea of getting a drink between lads. 

It’s been a few months since the incident with Louis first and then Zayn, and nothing has been weird between them anymore, not after a few days past the initial night. Niall knows he was being a prick and he probably should have just listened to Zayn initially, but if anything – he knows how stubborn he is. 

He’s got some blonde girl chatting him up and honestly, Niall couldn’t be less interested if he tried. Out of the corner of his eye, he catches Liam leaning up against the bar, ordering another. He turns to the girl, trying to remember her name but he can’t. 

“Listen, I’ve got to go check on my mate, it was lovely talking to you..” He trails off, and the girl rolls her eyes. 

“Serena, my name’s Serena, and sure, Niall, I’ll catch you later.” She says, heading away from him and he pushes himself from the cabaret table they’ve been standing at, heading for Liam. 

Once he gets to him, Niall reaches out and grabs him around the waist. Liam startles where he’s standing, before his face melts into a grin once he realizes who it is that grabbed him. 

“Niall!” He yells, right in Niall’s face and he laughs, holding onto his waist a bit tighter. 

“Yeah, hey, you good? I’m thinking about going to get some fresh air..” Niall offers and Liam’s face brightens even more. 

“Oh, hell yeah, let’s go!” Liam says, and Niall secures a hand around his wrist as they head out. 

Ever since Zayn and Louis cornered him that day back in August, he’s been thinking about Liam, trying to understand what they meant, about talking to him. Honestly, he was too chickenshit to even consider saying anything to Liam, he didn’t know how to start. Now though, he had a few beers, but he was hardly drunk, so he felt like maybe, just maybe he could talk to him. 

The thing was that Niall’s always been bisexual, as long as he really was able to understand what that word meant. He told the lads back at the bungalow, years ago, when they were sitting around the campfire telling their deepest secrets. So that’s not a surprise. What is a surprise is how he’s realized he’s felt for Liam over the past few months, since Zayn and Louis nudged him in that direction. Of course, he knows they would have liked him to maybe do things a bit differently – but he was trying now. 

Granted, he still felt like he was pretty much chickenshit, but he was trying. 

Once they get outside, Niall turned to Liam, only to find him staring. 

“Hey,” Liam says with a small laugh, and Niall echoes it, motioning for him to head down a small alley with him. The music from inside is still blaring, and the Miami humidity is making him feel sort of muggy. 

“Hey yourself. Are you having a good night?” Niall asks and Liam nods enthusiastically. A comfortable silence comes between them then and Niall finds himself counting up to ten and back down a few times, just to relax. 

Liam leans back against the wall, then, and Niall takes a few moments to just look at him. To just take in the line of his body. He’s always been the lads biggest fan, for all of them, but somehow, he’s been realizing more often than not how _beautiful_ Liam is, for all his flaws and then some. 

Niall exhales, psyching himself up to talk to Liam, like they said. 

“So, I’ve been thinking.” He starts, and Liam looks up at him curiously. “About you, mostly.” Niall clarifies, a redness staining his cheeks that isn’t just from the beer. 

The way that Liam is looking at him is almost too earnest. Niall doesn’t know what to say, how to proceed, but he knows he just needs to fucking say it, before he loses his nerve. 

“You’ve always been my closest friend, and maybe I laughed when Louis was describing you in Italy but.. it’s right, you know? You are, you’re noble, you’re strong, you’re.. warm.” Niall breathes out, and he knows it’s cheesy, but he also can see the way that Liam flushes, knows it means something to him and maybe that okay, then. 

“So what have you been thinking about me, then?” Liam prompts, a slight look of confusion on his face – and this is it. This is the moment that Niall’s been building up in his head but hasn’t ever thought would actually come. 

He’s still nervous, he’s still so fucking nervous but he has to say it. 

“That maybe, like, what I feel for you, the way that you make me feel, maybe that’s not just friendship, it’s something more.” Niall whispers and watches as Liam’s eyes turn wide as saucers. He decides to continue, before he loses his nerve. “I’m not going to stand here and tell you that I know exactly how I’m feeling because I don’t, but Liam, what you… what you maybe feel, if I’m seeing things right, you’re not alone, I feel it too. And I would like to maybe figure it out? Together?” 

After he feels like he’s laid his heart out on the line (but maybe he actually hasn’t done that, he doesn’t have much experience in that so he’s not sure), Niall finds himself staring at Liam, trying to figure out what he’s thinking, what’s going through his head. Liam licks his lips and Niall follows the movement, unable to really take his eyes off of the boy before he’s taking a small step closer to him. Liam gets the hint then and moves in too, reaching up to cup Niall’s face gently. 

He’s not that drunk, and he knows that Liam is a pleasant stage of drunk but not wasted, so he decides to just _do it_. 

Niall presses his lips against Liam’s, reaching out to hold onto his waist gently, a simple movement but it draws the two of them closer physically. His mouth opens under Liam’s tongue, deepening the kiss as his fingers dig into his side. 

It’s over almost before it really started, and Liam pulls back, pressing their foreheads together. 

“I’d like to figure it out…” Liam whispers and Niall exhales slowly. “With you!” He clarifies, a hurried tone to his voice, causing Niall to laugh. 

“Yeah, figured as much.” Niall breathes out, reaching down to grab onto his hand, holding tight for a moment as he looks up at Liam, eyes wide because it felt like the start of something that he maybe didn’t know the exact future of - but that didn’t mean it was anything he wants to shy away from. 

“Do you want to go back in?” Liam asks, and Niall shakes his head, pulling him close with a grin. 

“Rather stay out with you, honestly.” He whispers, leaning to press a quick kiss again Liam’s lips, feeling like everything was slowly starting to fall into place.

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi to me at [tumblr](http://kilamniall.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
